Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
