I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
