We're facebook friends in real life
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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