the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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