I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
