i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
