We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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