We need to rekindle our bromance
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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