Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
