Don't you send me to vm
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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