I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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