is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
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