I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize