He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
