apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
