...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
