Non-Jews are for practice
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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