I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I currently don't understand fingers.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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