I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woke up backwards on a recliner
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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