Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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