I just pynch a tree in the face
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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