i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
