I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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