oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
