You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...