You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.