i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.