he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
