what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
