I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
