Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
