I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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