saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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