I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize