I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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