Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
