Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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