I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
