After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize