need another drink. this is the easiest way
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
not ubering you a puppy
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
