At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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