I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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