please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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