I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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