discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
