soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The power of my boobs compel you
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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