Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
