I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
