Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
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I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
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We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?