he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.