Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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