Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
