Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He had one of those small greek statue penises
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
