do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon