you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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