Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
