I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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