Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
May the power of my ass compel you!!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
