dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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