I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
