FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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