i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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