i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
