that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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